“Sometimes, when Nancy was light-headed from the root beer, she’d tell me filthy jokes and then she’d begin to, you know, caress my beard.“
“Maybe she had a thing about beards. Did she tell jokes about them?“
“Yes! All of them, evil jokes!“
“Tell me one.“
“You mean one of her beard jokes? Oh it’s stupid! Well – but it’s so stupid. One time there was a woman who was all lopsided. Her ears were set wrongly, and her nose was where her mouth should be and vice-versa. So this woman meets a Byzantine soldier, oh no. I could never understand why she found it so funny.“
“Mabel wants my cheeks to be smooth. I’m not a hairy guy …“
“I’m not either. Nancy’would tell me about the Byzantine men and how bearded some of them were, awesome, and how it made her hot to think about them.“
“… And I say: ‚Sorry, Mabel, I forgot to shave’, because I forget to shave regularly. I shave, and it seems like only a matter of days …“