Dear Diary

“Dear Diary, yesterday it was time for the Phoniatrics Research Clinic’s annual mixed doubles tennis tournament, and the men were all eager to be paired up with Loreen, who made Phil the champion last year. The partners were randomly selected, and unfortunately for Tom, Phil got Loreen again, and Tom had to settle for – uh, oh – me. You know, I’d been taking lessons, but I would have had to be Martina Navratilova to please my victory-hungry boyfriend. I double-faulted twenty-eight times, we were eliminated in two straight sets. This morning he was almost crying and refused to get out of bed – his muscles were sore, he claimed. Tom’s a delicate guy, and even in the Phoniatrics Area this isn’t fashionable anymore.“